India marital rape victims' lonely battle for justice

Let me start this post by saying that sexual assault (i.e. rape) is wrong, regardless of it's marital rape or any other kind of rape. Perpetrators should be punished to the full extent of the law.

BUT, I don't agree with campaigners in India or anywhere else that marital rape be criminalized. Why?

Problem is that marital rape will be criminalized just like any other kind of rape is in the country. But will that solve the problem? If we forget about India, a developing country, for a minute, & focus on how rape criminal laws help fight / reduce rapes in developed countries, we see that it still happens quite a lot; from marital rapes & domestic abuse to sexual harassment & assault on streets & offices. So much so, that in Canada, there's a project, started by Rogers, called Project97. It's called "Project 97" because, per the organizers of this project, 97% of sexual assaults & harassment are never reported. Please keep in mind that this is in Canada & not something happening in a developing country.

Nobody around the world is trying to resolve the root problem of sexual assaults. What is the root problem?

Media around the world, be it internet, TV, magazines, movies etc. constantly keep pushing the boundaries of female nudity. Sexualized imagery is becoming the norm. Heck, even roaming around nude in the street is now being discussed in New York & Kitchener, because women there want to go out topless or, in some cases, even completely nude. We have celebrities like Kardashian clan or Miley Cyrus who are brainwashing young minds that female nudity in public should be celebrated & not criminalized.

Due to male biology, on the other hand, heterosexual men, who are still in the majority around the world, get aroused by watching a female who is trying to flash as much flesh as she can. The only things holding them back from humping that woman, right there & then, are laws & some moral views (for example, incest is not liked in any culture or country, irrespective of the law of the land).

Now, women in the West are far more liberal. They will go to a dance club & may go home either with a man or sexually satisfy themselves before going back home. If that's not enough, then annual "young sexapalooza" or, in other words, Spring Break in Florida, is internationally famous event, where young female nudity is wholly encouraged. Young males are there to only fornicate & get drunk.

However, women in the East are stuck in between conservative Eastern & liberal Western values. For example, in India, young women want to study, have a career, live in the metropolitan cities all by themselves, & want to choose their life partners themselves. They want to enjoy the night life, just like all those girls do in the Hollywood movies. Bollywood movies are full of Indian actresses in skimpy dresses, dancing all over the place, & men are ogling them like hungry wolves.

But, Indian women also want to marry someone who is highly educated, earns enough money to keep them well pampered, & of course, not a player. They want a respectable family man to raise their children.

On top of that, female infanticide in India is common. Although, it is illegal in the country, couples are still forced by their families to have as many boys as they can have, & girls are killed as soon as the ultrasound results come around. So, in the general population, demographically, the male to female ratio is skewed towards males. So, fewer females for more males in the general society.

One more problem all this sexualized media is causing is infidelity. As you may know how Ashley Madison, the site of cheaters, was hacked recently & the data of 33 Million users was released in the public. As you may know that Ashley Madison is one of the businesses of a Canadian company. It has operations in several countries around the world, including India.

There is nothing essentially wrong with what Ashley Madison is providing to the masses around the world. Since, rape is criminalized in the West, & infidelity or adultery is grounds for divorce, men try to cheat the system by cheating on their wives through an intermediary, Ashley Madison. Men are watching sexualized imagery all around them & women in their lives are trying to control the relationship through sex. So, men just simply cheat to satisfy their sexual arousals.

Some may say at this point that "men are pigs." Male reaction to sexualized imagery is just natural. A couple in love undress in their bedroom to sexually arouse themselves & physically enjoy their love. But, what a man gotta do when he is surrounded by sexualized imagery 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year? Did he ask for Miley Cyrus or Kardashian clan to get naked on the worldwide media?

Anyway, now, a poor, young man is watching Bollywood & Hollywood movies, watching porn on Internet, watching supermodels around the world wearing skimpy dresses in fashion magazines, & then watching Indian girls dating & having sexual relations with their boyfriends & even office colleagues. He is sexually aroused on a daily basis. So, at that point, he has 4 options:

1. If he is single & not in a relationship, then find a girlfriend & satisfy his sexual need or pay a prostitute (assuming he has enough money to hire a prostitute).
2. If he is single & in a relationship, then he will try to satisfy himself with his girlfriend, & due to his education level & social upbringing, he may or may not force himself on her.
3. If he is married, then he will try to satisfy himself with his wife, & due to his education level & social upbringing, he may or may not force himself on his wife.
4. If he is married, then he may try to cheat on his wife with a girlfriend or a prostitute.

As you can see in the example above, I started the example with the word, "poor". Because, in many cases, especially in India, but it happens all around the world, poor men have a very difficult time in starting a relationship. Girls want to start a relationship with a man who can pamper them. Money is an issue. An educated, but poor, man has a hard time in getting married in South Asia. But that poor man still has sexual needs, & even more so, after watching so much sexual images all around him. He may want to get married but he can't, because girls or their families want him to be educated (education costs money, too) or be education & be rich.

So, as you can see, nobody influential in the world of media is working towards reducing female nudity in the media. Quite contrary, it is being encouraged. Men, however, are being told to 'keep it in their pants', which goes against their biological nature. Women are trying to control relationships through sex; rewarding their male partners by sex when they are good & holding it back if their male partners do something undesirable. It is similar to being a pet that desirable behaviours are rewarded & undesirable ones are punished by the owners.

Cheating or adultery or infidelity is illegal in a majority of the countries. So married men are forced to rely on their wives for sexual satisfaction. They wouldn't have so much sexual needs if they are not bombarded 24/7 by sexualized media. But that's not the case. So, he is "forced" to relieve his sexual tension through his wife, since adultery is not allowed. But the wife just doesn't "feel" like having sex. What's he supposed to do? If he forces her, then it becomes marital rape. If he finds another girl, then it becomes cheating.

Today's man, around the world, is stuck between rock & a hard place.
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http://www.bbc.com/news/world-asia-india-32810834

...
In India, it is not a crime for a man to rape his wife. And many believe that marriage is a source of sexual satisfaction for men &, therefore, women must submit.

No equality
...
Campaigners have long demanded that marital rape be criminalised in India.

A committee formed after the December 2012 gang rape & murder of a student on a bus in Delhi to suggest criminal law reforms recommended that martial rape should invite the same punishment as any other rape. The government of the day, led by the Congress party, rejected the recommendation.

Victims of marital rape, however, refuse to give up the fight.
...

Widely prevalent

Supreme Court lawyer Karuna Nundy who specialises in human rights litigation & gender justice says Indian law provides little relief to victims of marital rape.

"At the moment, a wife can file a case under the domestic violence act which are dealt with in a civil court. It gives a woman a legal right to separate from her husband on the grounds of cruelty.

"But what is the legal provision to punish the act of crime? Any sexual act which is forced or is being done without the consent of the woman is a crime. The relationship of the victim with the perpetrator makes no difference."

A number of studies done over the years suggest that sexual violence in marriage is prevalent in India.

The last National Family Health Survey (2005-2006), conducted among 124,385 women in 29 Indian states, had 10% women reporting that their husbands had physically forced them to have sex.

Another study conducted by the International Centre for Women (ICRW) & United Nations Population Fund's (UNPFA) across 7 states in India last year covered 9,205 men & 3,158 women aged 18-49 from each state. One-third of the men interviewed admitted to having forced a sexual act on their wives.

The victims of "marital rape" say they fight a lonely battle because their suffering falls under no category of Indian legal system. Moreover, society often blames them for maligning the institution of marriage.

However, Save the Family Foundation, a men's rights group, cautions against criminalising marital rape.

"We have already seen how 498A, the anti-dowry law, has been largely misused by women in India to harass men & their family. The Central Woman Commission of India has accepted that a number of rape cases reported each year are false. How can one prove a marital rape? Taking bedrooms to court is a dangerous idea," a spokesman said.
...

Animal-sex tourism banned in Denmark

Speechless after reading this news. What humans are becoming. Question to evolutionists: can we call this de-evolution?

I was surprised to read that there are actually organized animal sex shows & clubs in Denmark. Bestiality is still legal in Romania, Finland, & Hungary. So, this ban will only drive more traffic to those countries.

Next, Pride's slogan of "marriage equality for all," will be used by bestiality aficionados for themselves. Thinking logically, "marriage equality for all," should include them & their carnal desires to marry their dogs, cats, cattle & whatever other animal come across their way. But then where is the social boundary, if at all?

That's why, Islam recommended Muslims to marry so they have each other for their own sexual satisfaction. It provided relationship boundaries among Muslims who is legal for whom & when. Islam used months like Ramadan & fasting to train Muslims in controlling their physical urges for food, water, & sex.

I simply can't fathom where is the human race is heading. Are we really so much hungry for sex that anything & anyone will do, be it a little kid, a sex slave forced into this prostitution trade, or even an animal? Are we humans not worse than any other animal, which at least, satisfies itself only with its own species?
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http://rt.com/news/252065-denmark-bans-animal-sex/

Denmark has approved a law banning bestiality, in a move to tackle animal-sex tourism. Those found guilty of engaging in sexual relations with an animal will now face fines & prison terms.

Those in favor of the legislation said Denmark did not want to remain the last northern European country where bestiality was legal, as this was attracting animal-sex tourists.

"There are frequent reports of the occurrence of organized animal sex shows, clubs & animal brothels in Denmark," the Danish Ethical Council for Animals, an independent advisory board under the food & agriculture ministry, said in a report, as quoted by Reuters.

A 2011 Justice Ministry report found that 17% of veterinarians surveyed suspected an animal they treated had previously been subjected to intercourse with a human.

Farm Minister Dan Jorgensen didn't believe the current law was adequate & sought to strengthen animal welfare & protection in the country.

"The current legislation does not protect the animals enough. It's hard to prove that an animal suffers when a human has sexual intercourse with it, & that is why we must give the animal the benefit of the doubt,” he wrote in an opinion piece.

He also said earlier this month that offenders “must be made aware that we find maltreatment of animals absolutely unacceptable."

Animal rights campaigners, including People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals (PETA), also petitioned Prime Minister Helle Thorning-Schmidt & Jorgensen to amend the existing legislation.

But members of the Liberal Alliance, a libertarian party, have expressed opposition to the new law.

“Best case, this is a superficial law. Worst case, it is political populism & moralism,” Liberal Alliance's Joachim Olsen said in February, as quoted by Mashable.

Once the law goes into effect on July 1, anyone found guilty of having sex with an animal will face fines & time in prison.

Hungary, Finland, & Romania are now the only EU countries where bestiality is legal.

Thousands embrace sex work to fund university costs, study finds

That's how the system works all over the world:

1. Make the people believe that the more you are educated, the better your job will be & the more you will earn (merit-based society). Only after incurring a large amount of education debt & graduation, that the former student (now grad) realizes it's all about networking (which is not as easy as deluded career officers or HR people may make you believe). So, all that merit-based idea goes right out the window.

2. Anyway, so people (parents & kids, alike) are thinking high-level education is very important for securing a better future.

3. Now, if you go to a crappy university, it will cost you a lot less, but then, your degree might be worthless, too. After all, Ivy league universities are not stupid to ask for 6-figure tuition fees for an MBA. Bachelor's degrees are not cheap, either. On top of that, an Arts degree might be cheaper than a Business degree or even an Engineering one.

Universities have now become "brands", which we used to hear in consumer products. The more a brand is famous, the higher it's price in the market. So, the more a university is famous, the higher it's tuition cost.

4. So, to make your future bright, you studied hard in secondary school & went through all those entry tests, which are mindless & meaningless & don't actually help anyone in gauging your intelligence. Heck, per my experience, rich & influential people still get their kids enrolled in "brand-name" universities without all those pesky tests.

5. Now, you went through all those entry tests, & your academics, & even amassed some extracurricular activities under your belt. You applied to universities & you got offers. But, hey, education is not free. If you are not one of the few lucky ones who were born with a silver spoon & didn't find a life partner who is either, then you have 2 options:

a. Go full time & incur a large amount of student debt. Your hope is that you will find a job after graduation, which will help you, pay off this large mountain of debt (on average, a 4 year degree is costing about 50,000 ... in any currency).

b. Go part time & work at a minimum wage job (or maybe, 2 jobs). Knowing the minimum wages of servers, baristas, cashiers, stockboys etc. (about $10/hour), it won't be enough to pay off all your tuition costs for a semester.

So, your parents are poor & cannot help you financially in your education. Part time jobs are not only cutting in your study time, but the wages from those jobs are also insufficient to cover your tuition. Full time study means you are definitely going to graduate with a mountain of debt & the current economic outlook for graduates snagging a cushy job with a nice income is slim to none.

So you are left with only one option: get into a business which pays very lucratively, much less time consuming (than working multiple part time jobs), certainly much more enjoyable, & you still get your education without debt (so you can use that income which you will earn after graduation towards living your life, instead of paying off your 6-figure loan). Seems like Sex Work is the best alternative which matches all these criteria.

Now, if you are a parent, you are thinking this is not going to happen to my kid, or if you are secondary school student, you might be rejoicing or worrying about this.

For parents: worry about it a lot. Why? Education costs are only increasing. No university anywhere in the world (except a few Northern European countries & Germany) has decreased its tuition fees. It's a huge & very lucrative business for the government & private sector (esp., the financial sector, because those loans help banks after all). Education has become a private business, be it a private elementary school in South Asia or private secondary schools in North America or private universities in developed countries.

Sure, there are public institutions for education, too, but have you seen the quality of education being provided there, recently? It's abysmal. Public schools in developing countries are in abysmal conditions. Public schools in developed countries are constantly seeing their budget cut (case in point: secondary school teachers in a few Ontario areas are on strike & hence, schools are closed, & elementary school teachers are only providing minimal teaching service, as part of their strike action). Public universities do provide a good level of education but when compare their quality with the private ones, you see a stark difference.

Plus, public universities, due to their budgets cut constantly, are also increasing their tuition costs constantly, so students pick up the tab. I had a discussion couple years ago with a student of my alma mater, Brock University. He was in the same program as I was, 10 years back, & he was at the same year, as I was, 10 years back. So, me & him, were almost 10 years apart, in the same degree, in the same university. I asked him what was his tuition cost. He told me: $7000/year. Mine was $4000/year a decade ago. So, the tuition cost went up by almost 75% in 10 years; an average annual increase of about 7.5% in tuition cost. And this university is not even a "brand-name" university, like University of Toronto, or Queen's university.

Now, that much increase may not happen in every university, everywhere. But, the general consensus is that the tuition costs are skyrocketing. The next bubble to burst in US is being said to be student loan. Students have huge loans, & they are obligated to pay those off in US (or they will be jailed), & they are not getting jobs or, if they are getting jobs, their incomes have declined.

So, more and more students are getting into sex work, as the only way to graduate with no loans. Which in turn is creating a host of other problems;

a. image / self-esteem problems in both genders (after all, you gotta be exquisitely handsome / beautiful to work as a model or even being a sugar baby; we are not talking about street prostitutes here),

b. safety & security of those kids (some may get into a prostitution ring or even become a victim of human trafficking) ,

c. kids learning to get what they want by selling their bodies

d. high chances of emotional problems, drug abuse, alcohol abuse, & perhaps, relationship problems, later in life,

e. Glamorization of sex work (porn has glamorized sex work, even though, we see a very tiny portion of pornstars making it big; most are extensively abused)

So, essentially, we humans are digging our own graves. We are destroying our own societies. Yes, some countries have avoided this problem, e.g. Germany & Scandinavian countries, where post-secondary education is free, but I am talking about the majority here. We elect governments in supposedly democratic countries, which choose to spend billions overseas with results, which are usually negative (wars in Iraq, Afghanistan, Libya got us what ... not certainly more safety but billions of our hard-earned money got spent there with some very sketchy results).

If governments of developed countries would've chosen instead to spend that much money on education in North America & Europe, then imagine, by yourself, where would've been our education system in the past decade (that's how long these wars took)?

a. All education institutions, from elementary schools to universities would've gotten a mountain of money to spend on improving the quality of education, benefitting both educators & students alike.

b. Researchers would've gotten grants to research for technologies in environmental sustainability, energy, healthcare, & a host of other things, to avoid currently looming crises of climate change, water, food etc.

c. Those students, studying safely & securely, without any emotional or mental issues, would've gotten education without a mountain of debt.

d. When students would not be using their incomes from their new jobs towards servicing debt, & instead, would've spent on buying a new house, starting a new business, purchasing loads of products to fill that new house of theirs, travelling etc. That would've benefitted GDP of the country.

A healthy economy with our children having a bright future would've been the result.

But, hey, terrorists are coming to kill us all, so we may as well, wage wars, left, right, & center, by pimping out our own children. (sarcasm).
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http://rt.com/uk/244569-student-sex-work-study/

Roughly one in 20 UK students has worked in the sex industry to earn money while at university, a new study has found. Many students are motivated by financial reasons, while others are driven by curiosity.
 
The study, which is part of the University of Swansea’s ‘Student Sex Work project,’ is the culmination of three years’ research involving 6,750 students.
 
In a climate of high tuition fees & rising living costs, over 50% of student sex workers in Britain are motivated by the need to earn money, the report said. Some 45% wish to avoid debt, it added.
 
The research found more men than women engage in sex work, while both sexes engage in ‘direct’ & ‘indirect’ activities. Direct sex work involves contact with clients & includes prostitution. Indirect work, however, includes modeling & phone sex.
 
For men, the most common sex occupations were ‘naked butler’ stripping, erotic dancing, performing in porn films & selling sexual services online. Women tended to engage in glamour modeling, erotic dancing, stripping, selling sex via phone lines & selling sex online.
 
The study found 4.8% of UK students have worked in the sex industry, while a fifth of students have considered turning to sex work.
 
A motivating factor for 56% of student sex workers was the need to pay for basic living expenses. Some 64% said they wished to fund a particular lifestyle. Avoiding or reducing debt were also major financial motivations uncovered by researchers.
 
Young people studying in the UK today can expect to leave university with about £50,000 of debt when maintenance loans are factored in. This figure could be larger when personal debt is included.
 
More than half of UK universities charge £9,000 per year for tuition fees, the maximum allowed by law.
 
According to the report, the findings “make it clear that for a significant number of student sex workers, sex work is embarked upon to assist with [university] fees and/or to avoid/reduce mounting student debt.”
 
“Thus, as long as students are expected to contribute high amounts of money to their education, & considering the rising cost of student living, it is unlikely that the number of students who turn to sex work will go down.”

Money was not the sole motivation however, with 54% of students citing curiosity as a reason for entering the sex industry. Some 59% said they thought they would enjoy the work, while 44% were motivated by sexual pleasure.
 
Although the majority of students reported feeling safe in their work, a quarter of respondents did not & half of those engaging in direct sex work said they feared violence while on the job.
 
Lead researcher, Dr. Tracey Sagar, called on universities to act on the findings.

“We now have firm evidence that students are engaged in the sex industry across the UK. The majority of these students keep their occupations secret & this is because of social stigma & fears of being judged by family & friends,” she said in a statement.

“We have to keep in mind that not all students engaged in the industry are safe or feel safe.
 
"It is vital now that Universities arm themselves with knowledge to better understand student sex work issues & that University services are able to support students where support is needed,” she added.
 
Sagar and co-researcher Debbie Jones were alarmed to discover that a fifth of students working in the sex industry sought counseling. That figure jumped to 51% for those engaged in direct sex work.

“We know through our research that some students are disclosing to University staff, but we also know that staff & support services can feel unconfident or unsure about their ability to offer the right support,” Jones said.

“This is why the next stage of the project is to develop & implement training packages for University staff & student support services,” she added.
 
Sagar argued it was important to include men in any initiatives. “Sex work is widely but wrongly perceived to be an occupation that is predominantly taken up by women,” she said.

“This means that males may fall through the student support net because they are not associated with sex work occupations.”