This is becoming a very common scenario in our Muslim societies or even among individual Muslims. Excuse: I am a Muslim in my heart. I don't need to dress in a certain way to show that I'm a Muslim.
Let's forget about religion for a minute at all. Let's look at this trend (& this article) from 2 real-world examples.
Scenario 1:
She becomes a consultant at IBM. Now, the IBM "dress code" is to look professional in front of a client. It's not different or unusual from any other professional firm's attire; Deloitte, KPMG, Grant Thornton, PricewaterhouseCoopers, Accenture etc. Now, when we think of a female consultant's professional dress, we think of proper attire in a nice colour, covering her from neck to knee, at least, coupled with a nice pair of heels (arms can be bared ... for those people who may start to split hairs).
Now, imagine if she wears the dress what this girl describes, into a client meeting, as a representative of IBM, as an IBM consultant. Would her manager give her a warning? Would she be disciplined more severely if she keeps ignoring those warnings? Would she be fired ultimately if she keeps coming to office in sandals, short shorts, showing her navel ring, & heck even drunk, to the office & at the client's premises?
Would IBM be considered a very harsh, controlling, "patriarch" of an employer? Can she say about IBM that IBM is a very "patriarchial" employer (you are not my father to tell me what can I wear to office or not)?
Why all of us in this world when sign on the dotted line of an employment contract are then beholden to the rules & regulations of that company or employer? We all have had to sign papers about our internet usage, attire, behaviour in office etc. If we don't abide by those rules, what does the company warn us about?
If we don't abide by the company rules, we will be let go. There is not even partial acceptance of the company rules. You have to accept either all or none of the company rules. Company is like, if you don't like our rules & want to do whatever you want to do, you are free to go anywhere else. Heck, you don't even need to give a 2-week notice.
Scenario 2:
It's Friday night in June. Very nice weather outside. You are a parent of a 16-year-old girl. As we all know, teens are usually rebellious. She has just started dating this guy with a hot rod & tattoos & definitely looks like much more older than her, perhaps 24-year-old.
It's 8 pm. You are at home preparing dinner with your spouse in the kitchen. You suddenly hear a motorcycle horn from outside. You instinctively know who that is. Your hear your sweet daughter bouncing down the stairs from her room upstairs. You step out in the foyer / vestibule to wish her goodbye & to tell her to take care.
But, wait a minute. You are shocked with what she is wearing. She is wearing a skimpy shirt, covering her neck to breasts area, a short denim short, & a pair of platform heels (tummy & legs are all bare). Of course, she has lots of makeup on her too.
Would you allow her to go like that on her date? She is a free person & living in a free country. If you will, then you are a dream of a parent to any teen. BUT, most concerned / good parents won't.
They will scream at her to go back upstairs & change into something more appropriate. She shouts back into your face, "why?" & "you are a horrible mom/dad," & "she hates you."
Your response: "as long as you are living under my roof & eating my food, you will follow my orders, otherwise, you are most welcome to leave this house & live anywhere else & do whatever you want to do."
Aren't you a very harsh or "patriarcial" parent? Would you be awarded a Parent of the Year award? You seem to be a horrible person since you are ordering around a free person in a free country.
However, other concerned parents will congratulate you for what you did & said. You said that as long as she is living under your roof, she needs to follow your orders / house rules / customs etc. She is always welcome to leave the house & not follow your orders. Doors are not locked on her.
Let's link these 2 real world analogies with religion now:
It's the same rule with religion. No religion is forcibly holding anyone in it. You don't want to believe in it or believe in it partially, you are always free to pack up & leave. BUT, when you sign on that "dotted line" (by entering in it whichever way a person enters in that religion, whatever that religion might be), then either you accept all of it or none of it.
It is clearly stated in chapter 33, verse 33 of the Quran that wives of the Prophet, stay in your houses & do not display your finery to everyone outside. Muslim women are supposed to follow the wives of the Prophet, so that's an order to all Muslim women to cover up & stay in your house. It is not anyone's interpretation or hadith; it is stated right in the Quran.
Problem is we are afraid of our employers & even our parents to do what they tell us to do. But when it comes to religion, we are not only oblivious to what the Quran & Hadiths say but we will believe anyone saying anything about it. How many people have actually read the Quran with translation in their own language? They've read Quran in Arabic when it's not even their language, which is like reading that French novel without knowing a word of French ... I don't think you will understand a word of it.
Quran is a book of message or even Hadiths & you are supposed to read it & understand it. People are not even curious enough to know about the religion they are following. But they don't want to leave Islam. Do you become an accountant without reading an accounting book? or become a medical doctor without reading a medical book? or become an engineer without reading an engineering book? etc but when it comes to Islam, that person has never opened the Quran or even a book of Hadiths but have become a master in religion to comment on women's dresses, & prayers, & women's rights etc.
Can you do you an audit of a company & issue an opinion without an accounting certificate (CPA)? You won't be allowed to do it. If you want to audit a company's F/S, & issue opinions, then you are required to go through the professional accounting body's whole exam & become a proper accountant.
Similar to prescribing drugs (medical doctor) or performing surgeries (surgeon) or selling a house (realtor) or building a house (engineer) or designing a house (architect). Then why all of us become such masters in Islamic theology that we issue our opinions like this girl so easily that I will wear short shorts & drink whisky & party it up in a club but still be a Muslim & even worse, other so-called Muslims wholeheartedly support her. Idk who to call a moron here; that (& other) girls like her or other Muslims who support her in doing this.
Nobody stopping you from getting out of Islam. But when you want to be called a Muslim, then you do have some rights & obligations. As my real-world examples above show that what Quran is asking Muslim women to do is no different than a country, or a state, or an employer, or a teacher / principal or a good parent ask people under their care to do; follow my laws, rules, & regulations. There is no partial acceptance of the rules. You can't pick & choose & interpret rules yourself as you like. If you want to be an American, then you must follow American laws; no ifs & buts. Otherwise, you are always welcome to get out of America & give up your American citizenship. Similar to Canadian, or French, or Turkish, or Saudi Arabian, or South African, or Brazilian laws.
But why is it when it comes to religion, we like to follow our own interpretations of beliefs, or pick & choose or distort the rules as per to our liking? Why don't we do this same thing in the secular, non-religious, real-world? Why do we have double standards? Why do we not call that cop or Judge that I am as much as an American / Canadian / British as that other person; you can't judge me since my intentions were not to harm other Americans / Canadians etc (like this girl says that Islam is looking at her intentions & not how she dresses).
One more thing I want to add here is that what Dalai Lama said that our "best religion is our heart." You know this PTSD (Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder), which is becoming very much prevalent in NATO soldiers, esp. American soldiers. They go through therapy but PTSD is still on the rise. What's the essential problem here? PTSD is essentially their hearts & minds being in conflict; heart says what you did in the war is wrong (whatever that may be) & the soldier tries to rationalize it through his/her mind that what he/she did was correct. Similar problem is here. In most cases, other Muslims are not judging these Muslim women who like to dress in such way as this woman described in her blog. I've been told this excuse even in conservative countries like Pakistan. It's not anyone's judging them but it's their own heart is telling them that what they are doing is wrong, so they try to rationalize it by deflecting what their heart is saying to them to what other people are thinking or "judging" them.
I can say a lot more on this topic but then the classic, nonsense reply would be, "you don't know me & what I've gone through in my life so keep your opinion to yourself."
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Let's forget about religion for a minute at all. Let's look at this trend (& this article) from 2 real-world examples.
Scenario 1:
She becomes a consultant at IBM. Now, the IBM "dress code" is to look professional in front of a client. It's not different or unusual from any other professional firm's attire; Deloitte, KPMG, Grant Thornton, PricewaterhouseCoopers, Accenture etc. Now, when we think of a female consultant's professional dress, we think of proper attire in a nice colour, covering her from neck to knee, at least, coupled with a nice pair of heels (arms can be bared ... for those people who may start to split hairs).
Now, imagine if she wears the dress what this girl describes, into a client meeting, as a representative of IBM, as an IBM consultant. Would her manager give her a warning? Would she be disciplined more severely if she keeps ignoring those warnings? Would she be fired ultimately if she keeps coming to office in sandals, short shorts, showing her navel ring, & heck even drunk, to the office & at the client's premises?
Would IBM be considered a very harsh, controlling, "patriarch" of an employer? Can she say about IBM that IBM is a very "patriarchial" employer (you are not my father to tell me what can I wear to office or not)?
Why all of us in this world when sign on the dotted line of an employment contract are then beholden to the rules & regulations of that company or employer? We all have had to sign papers about our internet usage, attire, behaviour in office etc. If we don't abide by those rules, what does the company warn us about?
If we don't abide by the company rules, we will be let go. There is not even partial acceptance of the company rules. You have to accept either all or none of the company rules. Company is like, if you don't like our rules & want to do whatever you want to do, you are free to go anywhere else. Heck, you don't even need to give a 2-week notice.
Scenario 2:
It's Friday night in June. Very nice weather outside. You are a parent of a 16-year-old girl. As we all know, teens are usually rebellious. She has just started dating this guy with a hot rod & tattoos & definitely looks like much more older than her, perhaps 24-year-old.
It's 8 pm. You are at home preparing dinner with your spouse in the kitchen. You suddenly hear a motorcycle horn from outside. You instinctively know who that is. Your hear your sweet daughter bouncing down the stairs from her room upstairs. You step out in the foyer / vestibule to wish her goodbye & to tell her to take care.
But, wait a minute. You are shocked with what she is wearing. She is wearing a skimpy shirt, covering her neck to breasts area, a short denim short, & a pair of platform heels (tummy & legs are all bare). Of course, she has lots of makeup on her too.
Would you allow her to go like that on her date? She is a free person & living in a free country. If you will, then you are a dream of a parent to any teen. BUT, most concerned / good parents won't.
They will scream at her to go back upstairs & change into something more appropriate. She shouts back into your face, "why?" & "you are a horrible mom/dad," & "she hates you."
Your response: "as long as you are living under my roof & eating my food, you will follow my orders, otherwise, you are most welcome to leave this house & live anywhere else & do whatever you want to do."
Aren't you a very harsh or "patriarcial" parent? Would you be awarded a Parent of the Year award? You seem to be a horrible person since you are ordering around a free person in a free country.
However, other concerned parents will congratulate you for what you did & said. You said that as long as she is living under your roof, she needs to follow your orders / house rules / customs etc. She is always welcome to leave the house & not follow your orders. Doors are not locked on her.
Let's link these 2 real world analogies with religion now:
It's the same rule with religion. No religion is forcibly holding anyone in it. You don't want to believe in it or believe in it partially, you are always free to pack up & leave. BUT, when you sign on that "dotted line" (by entering in it whichever way a person enters in that religion, whatever that religion might be), then either you accept all of it or none of it.
It is clearly stated in chapter 33, verse 33 of the Quran that wives of the Prophet, stay in your houses & do not display your finery to everyone outside. Muslim women are supposed to follow the wives of the Prophet, so that's an order to all Muslim women to cover up & stay in your house. It is not anyone's interpretation or hadith; it is stated right in the Quran.
Problem is we are afraid of our employers & even our parents to do what they tell us to do. But when it comes to religion, we are not only oblivious to what the Quran & Hadiths say but we will believe anyone saying anything about it. How many people have actually read the Quran with translation in their own language? They've read Quran in Arabic when it's not even their language, which is like reading that French novel without knowing a word of French ... I don't think you will understand a word of it.
Quran is a book of message or even Hadiths & you are supposed to read it & understand it. People are not even curious enough to know about the religion they are following. But they don't want to leave Islam. Do you become an accountant without reading an accounting book? or become a medical doctor without reading a medical book? or become an engineer without reading an engineering book? etc but when it comes to Islam, that person has never opened the Quran or even a book of Hadiths but have become a master in religion to comment on women's dresses, & prayers, & women's rights etc.
Can you do you an audit of a company & issue an opinion without an accounting certificate (CPA)? You won't be allowed to do it. If you want to audit a company's F/S, & issue opinions, then you are required to go through the professional accounting body's whole exam & become a proper accountant.
Similar to prescribing drugs (medical doctor) or performing surgeries (surgeon) or selling a house (realtor) or building a house (engineer) or designing a house (architect). Then why all of us become such masters in Islamic theology that we issue our opinions like this girl so easily that I will wear short shorts & drink whisky & party it up in a club but still be a Muslim & even worse, other so-called Muslims wholeheartedly support her. Idk who to call a moron here; that (& other) girls like her or other Muslims who support her in doing this.
Nobody stopping you from getting out of Islam. But when you want to be called a Muslim, then you do have some rights & obligations. As my real-world examples above show that what Quran is asking Muslim women to do is no different than a country, or a state, or an employer, or a teacher / principal or a good parent ask people under their care to do; follow my laws, rules, & regulations. There is no partial acceptance of the rules. You can't pick & choose & interpret rules yourself as you like. If you want to be an American, then you must follow American laws; no ifs & buts. Otherwise, you are always welcome to get out of America & give up your American citizenship. Similar to Canadian, or French, or Turkish, or Saudi Arabian, or South African, or Brazilian laws.
But why is it when it comes to religion, we like to follow our own interpretations of beliefs, or pick & choose or distort the rules as per to our liking? Why don't we do this same thing in the secular, non-religious, real-world? Why do we have double standards? Why do we not call that cop or Judge that I am as much as an American / Canadian / British as that other person; you can't judge me since my intentions were not to harm other Americans / Canadians etc (like this girl says that Islam is looking at her intentions & not how she dresses).
One more thing I want to add here is that what Dalai Lama said that our "best religion is our heart." You know this PTSD (Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder), which is becoming very much prevalent in NATO soldiers, esp. American soldiers. They go through therapy but PTSD is still on the rise. What's the essential problem here? PTSD is essentially their hearts & minds being in conflict; heart says what you did in the war is wrong (whatever that may be) & the soldier tries to rationalize it through his/her mind that what he/she did was correct. Similar problem is here. In most cases, other Muslims are not judging these Muslim women who like to dress in such way as this woman described in her blog. I've been told this excuse even in conservative countries like Pakistan. It's not anyone's judging them but it's their own heart is telling them that what they are doing is wrong, so they try to rationalize it by deflecting what their heart is saying to them to what other people are thinking or "judging" them.
I can say a lot more on this topic but then the classic, nonsense reply would be, "you don't know me & what I've gone through in my life so keep your opinion to yourself."
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